I know some readers will think… “what?! how can you be depressed, you just got married!”. Well, it’s these types of comments and assumptions that can make a newlywed really anxious, worried and self-conscious about how they are feeling after the big day. It is normal for brides and grooms to feel blue the next day, it makes sense when you think about it. We plan this “big” day, the day that is quoted “the happiest day of your life”, we spend money and time planning it, we have sleepless nights, shed tears, build up anticipation and expectation, and then all of that is gone. Suddenly, there’s nothing to plan, nothing to think about, nothing to talk about… and couples are left with this void. 1 in 10 women are thought to suffer from some form of pre-nuptial depression, so that is why I decided to publish some top tips to help newly married couples out there who may be suffering:
take time out with your partner to reflect on how the day went, talk about what you thought was a success, what could have gone better and laugh at the things that went wrong. Try really hard to see the funny side of situations and try and see that whatever it was, the important thing is that you are now married and that’s all that matters. e.g. One of my bridesmaids spilled red wine down my dress- afterward, I looked for the positives, “at least it was at the night do”, “I’ll always look at that stain and remember where and who it came from”, “it was an accident”, “the photos had already been taken”.
most couples go on a honeymoon, my top tip would be to go a few months later. I work in a school so was forced to wait 3 months before the honeymoon, as I got married in May. I found that it was really lovely having something to focus on and look forward to. We did go away after the wedding, we stayed in a “bothy” woodland escape for 3 nights, no phones, no internet, no crowds, just me and the hubby enjoying some us time and reflecting on this life-changing event that we had just gone through.
3. Look forward
think about other things to look forward to and plan, your next getaway, decorating the house, getting a pet, going traveling, moving house, apply for a new job, go back to college, reconnecting with old friends, start a new hobby. Having something else to focus on is a great way to keeping your mind active and will restrict the time you spend looking backward. Again, try and put a positive slant on things e.g. if your missing planning your wedding, and wish you could do it again, think- at least I can finally sleep without thinking about that bloody seating plan, or my hands are still stinging from making all those invitations!
4. Bag yourself a role in the next wedding!
this is a personal one, as this is what happened to me, and it really did help. My maid of honor got married 7 months after me, and needed loads of help with organizing a wedding so was happy to let me support her. I took her to a florist that I recommended, I found her the bridesmaid dresses she wanted, she took me to see the venue… it was a really nice way to still think about weddings and not leave it all behind quite so soon.
5. Be Married!
make sure you spend quality time with your partner and start to build a marriage with one another. It’s one thing organizing a knockout wedding but its more important to have a wholesome marriage. Build an exciting and comforting life together, make time for one another, still have date nights, show affection in thoughtful ways, and be happy.