Bridesmaids-the other love in your life

7 min read

I have read many blogs about ‘How to pick your bridesmaids?’ and a lot of them tell you to consider: their body shapes, hair and skin colors; family vs friends; how many is the correct number? This is all seemed superficial to me and not the right way to go about it… Choosing who will stand by your side on one of the most important days of your life may seem daunting at first, but don’t worry, here are a few tips to help you pick the BEST MAIDS for your perfect day.

B – Besties – Choose people who are important to you

It is amazing to bestow such a meaningful title upon people who are really important to you and invite them to play such a key part in your wedding. However, this can lead to some arguments. First things first, don’t feel pressured into asking people because you feel you have to (e.g. choosing a family member or someone because they asked you). The important thing is that you choose those people you feel closest too and who really mean a lot to you. Think carefully about who you want to share this journey with, who you really want standing with you whilst you tie the knot and who you need there on the morning of your wedding!!

My biggest debate was ‘Do you have to include your immediate family and his family members as your bridesmaids?’ and my general advice would be ‘No you don’t’. However, it might be nice to include them in other ways, for example asking them to be your witness, do a reading or help you make favors/gifts for the big day. That way they will feel just as important and special by playing a massive part in your big day.

B could also stand for ‘Budget’ as the number of bridesmaids you have will mainly be based on what you can afford, but I believe ‘Besties’ was a much better title for this section.

E – Emotional – Always good to have somebody to cry with

Although this is a happy time of your life, some decisions that you will make may stir some emotions and possibly a few tears may be shed. I didn’t really consider this point very much until I bought my wedding dress. Buying your wedding dress is a very surreal moment, as (in most cases) you have never tried bridal wear on before so you don’t know what to expect. Equally, everybody tells you that when finding your dress you will have ‘YOUR MOMENT’ but nobody can tell you what that will feel like. On top of this with all the TV programmes like ‘Say Yes to the Dress’, you feel like somebody or yourself should cry when you find your dress. For me, my mum isn’t very good at showing her emotion and I wasn’t too sure how I should react so when my bridesmaids shed a tear over my dress I knew I had found THE dress!

S – Supportive – Help you through those rollercoaster times

Weddings can be stressful even at the best of times. There’s so much to think about, from the table decorations to the music, to the photographer… so choosing people who will be able to get you through those ‘Bridezilla’ moments is essential. You need somebody who will listen to your worries, give you a cuddle when needed or just slap you round the face when you are being a drama queen. People who know you well are often the best choice as they will know all your different mood swings.

T –Trustworthy – This could make or break your big day

Pick people you can trust. You will probably end up giving your bridesmaids a ton of responsibilities such as planning your hen do, various behind the scene tasks on the day, meeting vendors with you, helping you with DIY projects for the wedding or holding up your dress when you go to the toilet. You want somebody that you can trust to do this, who will be there by your side, through the good and the bad. You need people who can handle both the honour and the responsibility associated with the task. Let’s face it nobody wants to be remembered as the girl with the rubbish hen do or wants a fight in the toilet with their wedding dress!

M – Mellow – Chilled people are better than stressed

You are going to be stressed enough as it is, so you don’t need additional stress from your bridesmaids. Try to choose people who are level-headed, chilled and will keep you calm in your moment of need.

To me, it was really important to choose people who I will have a good time with on the morning of the wedding. I know my bridesmaids will keep me calm and make me giggle. With them, I can be myself and have some good old girly fun.

A – Agreeable – Try to get people who will get on

Most people I know have a close knit of friends who have grown up together and they tend to all be bridesmaids together. However, this wasn’t the case for me; having moved a lot through my life, I tended to have one close friend from each stage of my life, who were all really important to me. So my bridesmaids didn’t actually know each other until they were ‘forced’ into a bridesmaid relationship. I am really lucky that the girls are laid back and it really helps that they are all chatty, open and willing to get to know each other for me. This was a worry at the beginning as I was asking 3 people who didn’t know each other to help me plan one of the most important days of my life. It is really nice that they can all get on and help make the decision between them even though they don’t know each other. I think this is key to a stress-free wedding planning time. You don’t want your bridesmaids to fall out with each other as that would be awkward!

I – Involved – Interested in your day

You want to pick people who want to be involved in YOUR big day and make it about you and your beloved one – not all about them! I was really lucky as my bridesmaids all bring something different to the plate: one is an event organiser, the second works within the bridal field and is extremely arty, and my final bridesmaid has been with me throughout university so knows me really well. They are all getting really involved with the wedding, sometimes even more so than me! It’s a really nice feeling when people are just as excited as you and want to be part of it, which makes the planning much more fun!

D – Dependable – You do not need a ‘Maid-zilla’

You may think your bestie is an absolute must as a bridesmaid but planning a wedding can cause a lot of strain on relationships and friendships. You need someone that is reliable, understanding and will not take offense to your bridezilla moments! Equally, if your friend can be a bit of a diva but you really want her as a bridesmaid, ensure that she knows who’s boss well in advance and maybe don’t trust her with key responsibilities!

S – Smiley – Happy Times

At the end of the whole event, all you will have is memories and pictures so make sure they are happy ones! Pick people that are going to make it memorable, who mean a lot to you and who will make every aspect of planning as fun as possible.


Photo by Eric Ward

Jo Burke

Jo Burke

Cat-loving, wine drinking, French-speaking Bride to be with lots of advice, hints, and tips to share!